Posted in Kat's Newest Posts

Cirice: In Our Darkest Days

Kat’s Music and Comics Corner Vol. 2 Issue #9

In our darkest days we look up to the highest powers. – Aldo Baricevic

As it draws closer to the end of the semester, the world becomes darker. Partially due to the upcoming winter solstice, but also because of the stress and anxiety caused by deadlines, homework, papers, exams, and finals. It is times like this that I am reminded of this drawing I once saw on Tumblr. It was a three-point diagram entitled something like “Life”. The three points were entitled SLEEP, SOCIAL LIFE, and SCHOOL and there was a caption that read “Choose two”. Honestly, if you’re a master at time management you could actually be able to have all three without having any horrible repercussions, but for people like me who also have to add work to the equation, life feels like a never-ending merry-go-round in hell. For the past few weeks, a cold has been lingering in my body and last week brought me to a dark place, so I’ve been trying to recover, but sometimes, due to my mental disability, I get these uncontrollable, unexpected waves of depression. I’ll just be sitting down enjoying a banana beside my friend or I’ll be in the library studying for a quiz or I’ll wake up from sleep and then I just feel my whole being sinking downward and I feel hopeless, directionless, and it’s not elicited, it just happens. I have a lot of different coping mechanisms for this, some healthy, some not so healthy, but when I was having a bad morning today I listened to one of my favorite bands, Ghost, and tried my best to feel better.

The particular song I was listening to was called, “Cirice” (Ghost actually won a Grammy for “Cirice” last year and of course, Papa Emeritus, the frontman of Ghost, and his nameless ghouls were in full garb and he was in full makeup as well). It’s one Ghost’s best songs, hence the award they won for it, and it has a wonderful music video that is worth a watch as well. It’s great because of its powerful lyricism. It tackles the topic of religion, a theme that most of Ghost’s songs deal with. They’re not actually Satanists but their songs do mention Satan and revolve around satanic themes. “Cirice” doesn’t explicitly mention satan but one could interpret the song as the voice of Satan speaking to a troubled soul. Satanism aside, the lyrics are so beautiful and heart-wrenching, they’re also even a little bit comforting. Papa Emeritus sings, “I know your soul is not tainted/Even though you’ve been told so”, which is really validating. There’re a lot of negative people out there who will talk down to you and try to make you feel bad, but no one deserves to be talked to like that or feel that way. We’re all flawed creatures, but that doesn’t make us damned. Papa Emeritus recognizes the pain within us all as he sings, “I can feel the thunder that’s breaking in your heart/I can see through the scars inside you”. It’s hard to be optimistic and a positive ball of energy all the time. There will be days when we don’t know what to do with ourselves and everything seems to be falling apart when we’re already broken down inside, but like the voice in this song, there is hope. There is someone. You may not even know them, but there is someone to reach out to for help. Please, always remember that.

When I put on Ghost, it always puts me in a good mood, even as dark as the music is, because even in the dark there is light. That light for someone could be God, could be Satan, could be a parent, a friend, a co-worker, a teacher, it could even be a song or a book or food. My old friend, Aldo Baricevic, once wrote this poem back in high school that had the line “in our darkest days we look up to the highest powers”. His poem really resounds within me at this time in my life. Those highest powers are many kinds of different people and things for all of us. If you are ever in the dark, and you feel like you don’t know where to reach out to, there’s always someone who will listen, who will care. Keep on keeping on and before you know it the sun will come out again.

– Kathryn “Kat” Fornier

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